What does that mean to you. As a newbie I figured collared slave simply meant wearing a collar and being led around by a leash. But I was wrong, being a collared slave has much more implication to it than that, as I've come to find out.
For a brief time I was A Mistress's first online LDR slave. At first I had a three month slave contract. Within that contract I had weekly tasks that I was required to do. I had a rule requiring me to wear a pair of women's panties while performing those tasks, occasionally the panties were all that I was allowed to have on while working, then other task I was permitted to wear the panties beneath my clothing. No, I am not wearing panties now.
I also had restrictions placed on me. This part is what I found the hardest of all. Mistress's biggest restriction in my opinion was being cut off from adult material. 100% restricted from porn of any kind. With the exception of certain FetLife groups that she had to approve of. Otherwise no photos, no videos, and no erotica. I hated the no erotica the most. But that is why I started writing erotica. There was no restrictions on creating it. The other part of being someone's collared slave is respect, obedience, asking permission and finally discipline/ punishment. Which for me is the threat of maple syrup hanging over me.
What does that mean to you. As a newbie I figured collared slave simply meant wearing a collar and being led around by a leash. But I was wrong, being a collared slave has much more implication to it than that, as I've come to find out.
I started this post with the intention of chronicling the history of the meaning of the statement (the collared slave of...) I was going to provide dates, and quotes from experts in the field. But I soon found out that answering the what came first, the chicken, or the egg would be easier to crack, then nailing down the answer to "what does it mean to be a collared slave?"
Well what does it mean to be married, common-law, engaged, spoken for or going steady. The one common denominator is commitment. Everything I just mentioned has a material token to represent it, the wedding ring, a shared spaced, someone's jacket, or high school grad rings. All representing a binding between to people. All are equally important in it significance to their commitment.
Did you know there are different levels of collars in a BDSM dynamic, I didn't. Not until I started this project. First there's the one called the collar of consideration. Which as I understand the concept, it is like wearing each other graduation ring, or a friendship ring. The collar of consideration is similar. Your an item, but nothing binding. The commitment ends by both parties just saying so, and going their own way.
Next up is the training collar. I would like to believe this was the level collar I was at. I still don't like the sound of past tense. Anyway, it is my opinion that most slaves in the scene fall under this one, if their mistress or master has offered it, and the slave accepts it and further commits by signing a slave contract. The source I used compares the training collar to an engagement ring. You haven't fully taken the plunge. But you freely committed yourself to your mistress/master. Unlike the collar of consideration, a slave can not just walk away from the relationship. They have to ask to be released. I suppose you could say it's like getting cold feet at the altar and running away. It's not easy on anyone.
Now comes the golden goose, the slave collar or Formal Collar. At this point there is no turning back. You took the plunge and became a slave. You are now your owners property. Their slave without recourse. The slave is now at the dominant's beck and call. Virtually unable to refuse any order. Of course there are always, a slaves limits to respect. But if the order falls within those limits the slave has to obey and do whatever is asked of them. Once again my source described the slave collar as permanent. If a slave except the slave collar they are unable to ask to be released. Only the dominant can choose to release a slave, but this is usually under extraordinary circumstances, and very rarely happens.
There are also other lesser significant collars that are used in the scene. One being the house collar. These are worn by slaves at clubs and events. The significance of the collar is to tell people that the slave is protected by the house, and the house has to be asked if you can approach a slave. It falls on the house to say yes or no.
The next collar is called the Velcro collar. This I had not heard of before. As the rise of online D/s continues the Velcro collar is becoming more popular as a means of exhibiting submission.
The reference to Velcro is a symbolic one. It refers to the callus use of the word collar in chat rooms and cam sites. The significance of the collar is being lost. Where being collared implies a commitment, the Velcro collar does not. Within the social media world a collar is put on and take off as often as a pair of socks. This week a sub is collared to this Mistress, then next week their collared to that Mistress. Which brought about the use of the term, Velcro collar, to indicate the ease of putting on and taking off the collar.
Now using a Velcro collar can provide an online Domme a means to show their dominance during a session. While allowing the sub an easy way to remove it, and return to their vanilla lives.
It is my opinion that the use of the word collared, should be reserved for use in its intended meaning, commitment. The lifestyle should adopt a new word for uses within the freer less restricted online play. As I was thinking about this, I was tossing possible ideas around that might work. I came up with tagged, as in, I've been tagged by Mistress so and so as her slave, or simply the tagged slave of… That's my two cents worth. But I'm sure there are better ideas out there to be considered.
There is a whole debate going on whether you can do a D/s relationship online. Well let me put it this way. I would not be doing this article if I was not doing it to please an online Domme. For me I find it very rewarding when Mistress calls me slave. Plus I face very real consequences if I have too many spelling mistakes or typos. Don't believe me, check out this post on a punishment I received because I misspelled Paul by doing this (qual.) I got nailed big time for that. Check this post out if you wish. https://slaveallan68.blogspot.com/2018/02/finally-i-completed-it.html?zx=2cbd56a3c3ab3b2d
Next up, is the day collar. It not practical to head of to work wearing a big black collar to display that your owned. Many of us use jewelry to display our mistress or master's ownership. Common items would be a bracelet, maybe a ribbon or even a bow. Rings are common, and of course necklaces make a great collar. This is the means that I used to show my collar, I also registered myself on The Slave Registry as my virtual collar. Then others use a simple choker as a collar. It's simple, easy and discreet.
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| Ruff Collar |
As the Ruff went out of fashion. Choker that looked like collars became more fashionable. It's during this time that layer rows of pearls around a woman's neck came on the scene. Which in itself leads to wrapping strands of beads around ones to form a collars started to appear. Shortly thereafter metal chokers and collars started to show up.
The article then jumps to reference to the native American Indians and collars used there. More appropriate put they are referred to as chokers. Which are used both for personal protection as well as spiritual. These chokers were handcrafted for the wearer and held great significance too. Mentioning collars in a spiritual sense, many in the clergy of the Christian Faith adorned a collar to display their devotion to their believe.
In the post WW2 era the wearing of a collar took a big cultural shift. It went from a symbol of high fashion, to a statement of rebellion. Then as the 1950's came around teen girls used the dog collar to show their availability. Apparently by wearing the collar on one leg or the other showed if the girl was dating or not. it is also believed that the dog collar is what inspired the studded collars.
Also according to my source it is at this time the notion of the collar in BDSM started to take root. Within the lifestyle then collars had different colors to depict if someone was available as a submissive, or to indicate not to approach. Collaring ceremonies appeared to symbolize the same thing they do today. Like marriage of that time the union was considered permanent. Leather collars with locks were used, or mental collar that could only be removed if it was cut off were known to be used too.
So, if your asked by a Master, or Mistress if you would like them to consider you for a collar, be honored. It's one of the highest form of praise a sub can receive. A formal collar is not to be taken lightly. It should not be mistaken as a form of role play. Take it from a sub that had the holy grail and lost it. There is nothing sweeter than saying, "Hi! I'm the Collared Slave of Mistress..."
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